Kiss After Tears
Cast: Malee as Minah
Hunter as Chanyeol
Ben as V
Lydia as Naeun
Genre: Love
Malee’s POV
I try my best to suck the tears on my eyes. Trying not to be weak. I need to be strong. This isn’t the end of everything. There are a lot of fishes in the ocean not only one fish. You can find a better guy.
I look up and force a smile. “can we just forget about everything that I said few minutes ago?” I sweep my hair away from my face. The wind is blowing so hardly and thanks to myself for deciding talking to this boy on the school rooftop.
He nods. “sure” he shift awkwardly.
I look down and nods, then I take a weak step toward the stair until I feel a strong hand grab my wrist. I almost felt down but that hand supported my body. And I know whose hand is that.
“are you okay, lee?” Ben look at me concernly.
Do I look okay? I want to ask him so badly but decided not to.
I fake a smile and nod. “yes, I am okay” I answer and he let my hand go.I am okay. I remind myself that until I reach my class.
I have never confessed my feeling to any boy but Ben. I didn’t know what did I think when I decided to ‘declare’ my love to someone, who will never be mine. Even if there is only me left in this world, I bet his answer will still the same.
Don’t get Ben wrong, he isn’t a bad boy or popular boy like what you think. He is only an ordinary boy, who love basketball and mathemathic so much. He has a brownish hair colour. He has a long bangs which almost cover his eyes. Sometimes I wonder why don’t he have a hair cut. Isn’t it normal to have those kind of question about your crush? Once you fall in love with someone, you will pay attention on every single thing about him.
“Lee! So how is it?” Hale, my bestfriend ask while chewing a gum. Gum is his wife. That’w what he told me.
I look at him. I didn’t talk since the rooftop accident.
“Ohno. Did he…” he studied my face. “He is so dead right now, where is that Ben?” he look around. I pull his hand to get his attention. “please don’t do anything” I talk weakly. He hug me tightly. “it isn’t his fault” I say and my tears start to fall.
Few months later
“Lee, the principal call you to go to her office” one of my classmate tell me.
I nod and throw my chips plastic bag to the trash. It is break time now. students are running here and there. There are also few students who are flirting with each other which send me a shiver. Since the day Ben rejected me, I swore to myself that I won’t fall in love with boy anymore.
I knock the office door. After I heard he said come in, I open the door and get in. “you call me, sir?” I ask once I step into the room.
The principal isn’t alone. He is with a guy who have his back facing me. he has a black hair and a broad shoulder. I have been attending this school since I am ten years old and I have never seen this guy before. Maybe, he is a new student.
“please take a seat Lee”
I walk to the empty chair beside that guy and sit. I don’t dare to look at his face instead I took a glance at him. he has a big round eyes and pale skin colour. He wear black glasses, which make him look… smarter.
“Lee, as I know that you are the most responsible student in this school. After I discuss a few things with your homeroom teacher regarding this problem, we decided to ask your help” he bent his body forward before he continue what he want to say. “the boy sit beside you is Hunter”. Hunter? His name sounds good. “He will be in the same class as you and I want you to teach him every single lesson that has passed and please give him the school tour. Also, his mom requested for a tutor for him and I think that you are the best tutor for him” he explain
“what? Me? why not Ben or Lydia? Their scores are always good”
“you can’t change our decision Lee. We had discussed this with all of your subject teachers and they said that you are the best”
before I can say anything, the bell rings ant that means class will start in five minutes.
“okay, that’s all. You can go back to your class and Hunter..” hunter look at the principal. “you can follow Lee to the class”
Ohgod. I don’t know what to do. The situation is so awkward. None of us are talking. All eyes are on us when we walk through the corridor. How much I wish that I have the ability to be invisible. I look down and close my face by using my long silky black hair. I look back and see hunter’s eyes wandering around the corridor. He looks like he doesn’t care about those stares.
“okay, em.. hunter? Can I call you that?” that’s the first conversation.
He look at me with his big round eyes and smile. “yeah sure. And what should I call you?”
“Lee is fine” I smile awkwardly. “so can you wait here for a second? I need to take my book from locker” I point at my locker which is located right in front of us.
With a very fast speed. I search for my geography book which is located somewhere there. I take the book and my blinder. I put all of my subject note in one blinder so it will be easy for me to take it everywhere.
“ok let’s go” I say and he follow me.
he is walking right beside me not behind me. just now, he walked behind me like a puppy following it’s owner. Maybe he feel comfortable with me after our first conversation.
“so Lee, is Lee your name or is it your nickname” he ask
“Lee is my name” I lied. Nobody know about my real name.
“Lee sounds good” he smile to me.
“thankyou” I smile back. “where were you from?”
he doesn’t answer for few minutes. Did I ask something that I shouldn’t ask? Was the question too personal?
“sor..”
“my past wasn’t good. I don’t want to recall them” even though he smile I can guarantee that something bad happened in his past.
“alright, I am sorry for asking. Well I shouldn’t ask this kind of thing in our first meeting”
“no, it isn’t your fault. By the way about the tuition, you will come to my house this evening right?” he ask me when we arrive at our class.
Oh right the tuition. I have totally forgot about that. “well, actually…”
“you can’t say no” he cut my sentence
I sigh. “okay then, what time are you home?”
“five will do” he say while we walk inside the class.
“okay five then”
--------
“ohno!” I shout as soon as I see the clock that is hang on the wall right beside the right of my bed. I jump up from my bed and run to the toilet. I randomly pull a black t-shirt and black short. I have a very quick shower then tie a messy bun.
I can’t be late for my first tutor day. Hunter might think that I don’t want to tutor him. well the fact is yes I don’t want to but because this is the principal order. I wear my black converse, take my bagpack which is filled with my necessity.
After I got in to one of the taxi, I take a deep breath and try to calm myself. I shut my eyes and blame myself for taking a nap. I planned to have a short nap as soon as I arrive at my apartment but end up I slept for two hours. This is why I shouldn’t sleep late at night. My body isn’t like other’s body who can stand doing daily activities by only taking 4 hours for sleeping.
“we are here miss”
I open my eyes and see a very large house in front of my eyes. Is this the right house? I replay everything that happen during the school time, trying to think about the hint that he drop about his so called house but for me is mansion.
I give the driver money and go down from the taxi. I take my phone out then reality slap me. I didn’t ask hunter for his phone number. Great this is just great. I look at my watch and it’s 5.15 now.
“excuse me sir but is hunter home?” I ask to one of the man who was sitting on the security post.
“who are you miss?”
“I am his…” what should I say? Friend? Well we aren’t officially friend. “tutor”
he furrow his eyebrow. “wait for a second, I will ask Mr. hunter whether he is expecting you or not”
I nod. Seriously? Do I have to go through this things only to teach a teenage boy? It isn’t like I am the one who want to teach him.
The guard come back and open the gate for me. “Mr. Hunter is waiting for you at his room which is located at second floor”
Wow, this house isn’t a joke. The living room is even bigger than my apartment. But, why isn’t there anybody in this house? Shouldn’t there be his mom or maybe servants?
“Lee?”
I see Hunter standing on the stairs wearing a white t-shirt and training pants. He run his hand on his damp hair. I stand awkwardly there. I don’t know what should I say, so I smile while waving at him.
“you came” he say while walking down the big stair.
He walk toward me and something weird is happening with my stomach. Something inside my stomach is being flipped upside down and it happen for several times.
“I taught that you will not show up”
I laugh. “of course I will. Mr. White’s order. There is no way I am not coming here” I pause while remove few stains of my hair that cover my face. “I can’t just simply endanger my scholarship…” what the hell did I just say? I almost spilled my own secret to him. I shifted awkwardly for seconds. “so, should we start?” I ask hoping that he won’t ask me further more about the sentence I said before.
“sure” he grin showing his super rich yet white teeth. “let’s go to my room”
“what? Your room?” seriously? He expect me to teach him in his room? Like his bedroom?
He look at me with ‘what’s wrong with that?’ stare. “I mean, don’t you have any study room here? Well, this place is such a huge mansion” I say.
He laugh. “no, we don’t have any study room” he stop. “and this is not mansion. This is only a small house”
---------------
after contemplating with myself, I decided to get in to his room, tutor him for two hours, and get my ass out of this his so called small house. When I step inside his room, I didn’t know the meaning of breath for a second. His room is like… twice then my apartment. How can someone has this kind of room?
My eyes can’t stop wandering around his room until I heard him laughing beside him. I look at him. “what’s so funny?” well truthfully I feel annoyed. Not everybody is as rich as him.
“don’t you think that mosquito or fly will get in to your mouth if you keep opening it that wide?” he ask while pushing my opened jaw and now it is close thank to him.
I can feel the heat is radiating my face. I open my messy bun to close my face so he doesn’t realize that I am blushing. Get a grip Lee, you promise to yourself that you won’t fall for any boy, you don’t even know him yet.
“is it a most for you to tie your hair?”
great. What the hell is happening with you Lee? Why did you untie your hair?
I clear my throat and tie my hair back to the messy bun. “let’s start” I smile.
He lead me to a black door which is located at the left side of his bed. He open and turn on the light. Wow. One word to describe the room. This is the type of study room I dream of. Well designed book racks, wood stair for taking book, a sofa, and a set of table and chair.
“this is…” I look at him and he is staring at me. “awesome… is this your study room?”
he shake his head. “this is my library”
“you are such a lucky one” I put my backpack on the table.
“not as lucky as what you think, if you know about my…” he stop.
I tilt my head to the right side, waiting for him to continue. Instead of continuing what he said before, he grin widely. “so, let’s start” he say
----------------
“okay, stay silent everybody. I am going to announce your exam score” Mrs. White, our maths teacher say and the whole class start growl.
Mrs. White starts to announce one by one. As usual half of our class don’t pass and have to take another test. I don’t know what is in their mind. I bet they are not stupid and can get a good score if they try their best to study.
“Hunter…” I look up when I heard Hunter’s name being called. Well, as a good tutor I am responsible for his score. I have been giving him lesson for several months and will keep continuing. “90. Congratulation Hunter” Mrs. White hand him his exam paper with a motherly smile. When he pass through me, he wink at me and as usual I roll my eyes.
Even though he is here for only 3 months but his popularity isn’t joke. Once a group of my junior surrounded me in the toilet only to ask hunter’s number. Of course I didn’t give them. I can’t simply give his number to stranger, can I?
“and.. as usual Lee… 98!” Mrs. White announce my score.
98? I sigh. I aim for 100 this time. With a very heavy step I walk to the teacher’s table and take the paper. And guess what, Ben and Lydia get 100 for their exam. In order to continue my study in this high school, I need to have a good score with no 8 in my report. My mom can’t afford the school fee. Since the day my dad died, our life isn’t good. But thanks God, my mom got a job and she is super busy. I never have a proper talk to her for almost one year.
“okay, that’s all for today guys. Remember to do your homework and see you tomorrow” and… it’s lunch time now.
I pack my things and walk out from my class. I don’t have time for lunch. Actually, no money for lunch. I woke up late this morning so I couldn’t prepare my lunch. I walk to my locker, preparing for the next class. The only place is comfortable for me in this school is library. When everybody is eating and I am not, that’s the only place I can go and have a good time alone.
“Lee!”
“oh Hunter! Congrats for your ninety!” I smile
“thanks to you I can get that high score. Well congrats for your ninety eight” he grin.
I shake my head. “as you know I was aiming for one hundred this exam but I failed”
He hold my shoulder. “ninety eight is good already. You can try again next exam. Now, let’s celebrate for our ninety and ninety eight!” he jump around like a kid. Most of the students in the corridor is looking and whispering. I hate attention.
“stop it Hunter, people are looking at us” I whispere.
“who cares?” he look at my books. “are you going to study at cafeteria?” he ask, pointing at the books.
Great, just great. He will force me to eat and pay for my lunch again.
“no, I will eat at the field. You can just go celebrate with your” I look at the crowd. “fans” I giggle and walk away.
---------------------
“ninety eight huh?” I heard someone talk behind me. Ben.
I smile at him and focus back on my book. Right now, I am reading a thriller novel. I love thriller and romance story. I spend most of my pocket money to buy novels. I can still survive without food but I don’t think I can survive without books.
“are you going to ignore me? is it because of the five months ago accident?” he sit on the empty chair beside me.
I shut my eyes. Didn’t I tell him to forget everything that I said that day?
“are you going to ignore me for your whole life?”
if yes, what will you do? Can you invent a time machine with your clever brain and go back to the moment when I confess to you?
“look, I am sorry for that but if you think of it, it isn’t my fault. Isn’t it my right to choose?”
I close my book and face him. “didn’t I tell you to forget everything that I said that day? I am not ignoring you. I am just…” I pinch the bridge of my nose. “don’t feel like talking” I pack my novel until he stop my hand by holding it.
“let my hand go” I say softly trying not to show him my anger.
“we haven’t talked finish yet”
I put my book back and face him. I can’t believe that I fell for someone like him. the day after I confessed to him, there is a news about him dating Lydia. People said that they are couple made in heaven. Saying that their child will be the next Einstein. The reasons he gave me when he said no is he want to focus on his study. Why couldn’t he say that he like Lydia? I wouldn’t get mad if he did say that though.
“who is he?”
“what?” I look at him disbelief.
“Hunter. Is he your boyfriend?”
why do you care?
I take a deep breath and look at him in the eyes. “look, I don’t know what is your problem with him but.. it isn’t your problem whether he is my boyfriend or not”
He laugh humorless. “so, what they say is true”
“whether it is true or not, it’s none of your business” I pack my book inside my back and stand up. “know what? Just mind your relationship with Lydia” I say and walk away.
------------------
“down to the earth Lee”
I look at Hunter who is currently biting the milk straw. “what? Did you say something?”
He look at me with ‘are you kidding me?’ stare. “I have repeated myself for thrice and you didn’t even reply me a word”
“I am sorry”
“something happen? You said that you were in the field during the lunch time but I didn’t see you there. Where were you?”
“i..” come on think of a reason. “went to toilet when you were there”
“wow, I never taught that you will take forty five minutes to go to toilet” he look at me unconvinced.
“fine! I was at the library”
“you skipped your breakfast, did’t you?”
I huft and close my face with both of my palm. “please don’t advice me for today. I promise you that I will eat next time” I say. “please don’t make my day worst” I whisper
He hold both of my hand. “did Ben say something bad to you?
How can he know?
“nothing, we just talk about uh..” I fake a smile. “our score.. yes, our score”
“don’t lie to me Lee, I heard everything” he fold his hand across his chest.
Great, the end of my life. But why would he care? He isn’t my mom, brother or dad. He is only my friend. Ok fine my current bestfriend. The one I can rely the most.
“you liked him huh?”
“stop Hunter, I don’t feel like talking about him”
he look at me with a serious look. I have never seen him this way. Usually he looks at me with his playfull or sad or angry look but not this serious look.
“I liked him not like” I correct him.
“when is that?” I can feel the anger at his tone. Or maybe only my feeling.
“five months ago”
“and… he turned you down?”
I nod. “well, it has been five months and I am over him right now so.. let’s continue to with our lesson” I open his book but he snatch it from me.
“did it hurt?”
of course it hurt a lot. It hurt until now. so can you stop talking about it?
I shake my head. “I could manage it” I force my best smile and he still keep his poker face on. “can we continue studying now?”
“he chose Lydia over you?”
the question slap me. even though I say that I get over Ben, first love will still be there deep deep down inside your heart. Yes, Ben is my first love. Sad huh?
“why do you care? You are not my dad or brother. We are only friend”
he flinch. Okay, I feel bad for saying such a rude sentence to him. nobody talk for around five minutes. We sit there, drown in our own thought.
“yes, I am not your dad or brother and I have no right to know” he stare at the book in front of him blankly. “but…” he look at me and laugh bitterly. “why do I even care about you? This isn’t me…” he stand up and place his hand on his forehead.
Okay, what happen to him? did I say something wrong? I walk toward him and touch his hand but he flinch. “don’t touch me” he snap at me. “get out from my room now and don’t you dare to come here again”
“Hunter.. I am..”
“get out!” he shout at me. I look at him for the last time, pack my things and leave.
----------------
that was the last time I talk to him. it has been two months. For the whole two months he ignore me and don’t even take a glance at me. he flirts with girls and everytime I see it my heart feel so tight. I know I shouldn’t feel this way but I just can’t help it. I can’t feel this wayI remind myself.
I needed to find a part time work because I am no longer Hunter’s tutor. I need money for buy a meal per day. After school I walk to the coffee shop near my apartment and work at there as waitress until eight pm. Nine until one I study or do my homework and only get sleep for about four or five hours.
My mom hasn’t come back home for about almost four months. No phone call, no message from her. Once, I went to the hospital where she work, they said that my mom is very busy and doesn’t have time to meet me. then I went back home.
Right now. I am sitting at the corner of library covered with stack of books. We are going to have final exam soon. This time I need to get 100 for at least 5 subjects. That’s my goal.
I read every single book in the library and write down the important point. I feel like my eyelid becoming heavier and heavier. I can’t hold it anymore longer. I need a short nap.
“hiding in the corner where everybody can see isn’t a good choice”
seriously? I need rest. I pretend to close my eyes. I have no energy to argue or talk with Ben. I don’t know why, he is always there during lunch with me. everywhere I go, even toilet. Last week, I vomit so badly at toilet because I forgot to eat for the whole day and he was standing outside holding a glass of warm water. He forced me to drank that and bought me food.
“don’t pretend to sleep”
I sigh. “what do you want?”
He sit beside me. “just.. accompany you” he take one of the book. “you look lonely. Usually Hunter will be around you but not in thistwo months. Are you guys fighting? Or perhaps… break up?”
I glare at him. “can you stop sticking your nose on people’s problem? And break up? Seriously? We were not even an item”
“why didn’t you tell me that day when I asked?”
“do you expect me to answer someone who turned me down?” I pause. “but it’s okay, I have moved on” I say, continue writing the important points.
“want to know a secret?”
“a secret? About how you can get one hundred on almost every exams? Why not?” I chuckle.
“close your eyes then” he say.
I shake my head. “I don’t want to. People might think that I am crazy”
“just five seconds. Please?” I look at him. he is looking at me with a puppy eyes.
“fine” I close my eyes. Well it feel so nice because I am holding a five kilograms eyelid for two months.
“I love you, Lee” Ben say then kiss my right cheek.
I open my eyes. “what the hell Ben?” I shout at him. thanks god, no one is at the library right now.
“did you just… kiss me?”
he nod calmly. I slap at him and stand up. “don’t you dare to do that to me again! You turned me down and now you kiss me. do I look that easy in your eyes? Do I look like someone who want your love that badly? Yes, I did eight months ago, but now, no more. And do you expect me to believe your words? If you think that I will… you are totally stupid and that clever brain of yours is nothing but a clod of meat” I take my notes and walk away.
---------------------
I cry my heart out as soon as I arrive at my apartment. I ask for a day off from the coffee shop. I can’t concentrate for the whole day. I feel so furious. Do I look that weak? Do I look like a girl who crave for love that badly? I can’t imagine if Lydia know about this. She will be mad at me and call her dad to stop affort my school fee.
I feel so sad, furious, and… helpless. I don’t know what should I do. Even my own mom, hasn’t come back home. Is she running away from me? does she regret of having a daughter like me?
After cried everything out, I decided to cook whatever left in my freezer. Omelet isn’t bad though. I have been eating by myself for almost five months. So eating by myself isn’t something that I need to be sad of.
When I was about to wash the dishes, someone rang the door bell. I walk weakly to the door and open it. Hunter.
“oh my god… Lee… are you okay?”
all I can do is nod. I want to say something but nothing comes out. I am too tired and no energy to talk. Is he coming here to pity on me? if that’s his the reason, I think it’s better for him not to come.
“do you need…” I cough for several times before continue “my help for the exams? If that’s why you come here wait for a moment I will take my note for you” I say. When I was about to walk away, he pull and hug me.
I am shock and trying to free myself but he hug me tighter. At the end, I give up. This isn’t the first time we hug though, so I don’t really mind if he hug me. maybe something bad happened to him and he have no one to find except me.
“I am sorry” he whisper.
He let me go and cup both of my cheek. “you look so pale and unhealthy” he say.
I put his hand away. “If you come here to pity me, it is better for you to go”
“no. I um… have something to tell you”
“okay, what is it?” I ask impatiently.
He look around and I can see that he is worrying about something. Maybe he need my help to ask for a girl phone number.
“can we get in and talk?”
I nod and let him in. this is the first time he actually get in to my apartment. Usually he sent me apartment and drove back home.
“I saw what happen to you in the library…”
I freeze for a moment. “so.. you was there”
He nod. “frankly, I have been watching you for a long time… do you think I will just let you go everywhere around without me watching you?”
“from what you said to me last time, yes” I answer truthfully.
He sigh. “I am sorry about that. You know I didn’t mean to…”
“no” I cut him. “it’s fine… I forgave you. So what do you want to say? If you need my help, I will still help you”
“no.. I want to say that.. I um…”
“you what?”
“i… like you, Lee”
what? “wait what? What do you mean by like? You come here only to say that you like me? yes, I like you too Hunter. You are my bestfriend. Well, even though our relationship isn’t that good for this few months…”
“No no… not that ‘like’. I mean..” he ruffle his hair. “I don’t know how to say..”
I tilt my head and furrow my eyebrow. “just say it out… I won’t be mad at you don’t worry..”
“do you want to be my girlfriend?” he ask with a very fast speed. If I say ‘very fast’ that’s mean a real fast that you can barely listen to it well if you don’t concentrate.
“what?”
“do you?” he ask again. “ok this must sound crazy but I can’t keep thinks any more longer. From the first time I met you, I am attracted to you in that second. The way you talk to people isn’t like other girls. They fake everything but you don’t. they try to be perfect in front of guy but you don’t” he take a deep breath. “when you came to my house for the first time, the way you dress isn’t like the ususal teenage girl. And that’s what I love the most from you. Everytime I look at your smile, even now… my heart is beating insanely and I afraid that it might broke my ribcage” he take a step closer to me. “the way you furrow your eyebrow when you don’t understand the questions, it makes you look cute. I can’t help but smile” he take another step. “when I heard what you talk to Ben, my heart feel so hurt” he point at his heart. “and when I said those sentences to you… especially when you walk out from my room, I can’t think straight. I tried to distract myself from you by flirting with another girl but it didn’t work at all. The more I try to avoid you the more I fall for you” he take another step closer and right now he is right in front of me. he take my hand and draw small circles by using his thumb. “when I saw Ben kissed you, I want to run to him and punch him but you slapped him first. Then after I heard everything that you said, I know that you are hurt”. I can feel my tears start to roll down from my cheek. He wipe my tears gently. And when he touched my face, I feel warm and comfortable.
I look at him. trying to find whether he is lying or no but I can’t find any of that in his eyes. The more I look into his eyes, the more I am drown into it. At that moment, I know that I fall for him.
“say something Lee”
I shake my head. “my name is not Lee”
“whatever your name is, I will still love you the same way”
“my name is Malee” I smile weakly. “yes” I whisper and look down at the floor.
“what? Can you say it louder?” he cup both of my face and now I am facing him.
“yes, Hunter” I say with a firm tone. He hug me and turn me around. He put me down and hold my face gently. He move his head closer till our lips meet. And my first kiss is taken by Hunter. “I love you, Malee” he say between the kiss. “I love you too, Hunter”
THE END.
Hunter as Chanyeol
Ben as V
Lydia as Naeun
Genre: Love
Malee’s POV
I try my best to suck the tears on my eyes. Trying not to be weak. I need to be strong. This isn’t the end of everything. There are a lot of fishes in the ocean not only one fish. You can find a better guy.
I look up and force a smile. “can we just forget about everything that I said few minutes ago?” I sweep my hair away from my face. The wind is blowing so hardly and thanks to myself for deciding talking to this boy on the school rooftop.
He nods. “sure” he shift awkwardly.
I look down and nods, then I take a weak step toward the stair until I feel a strong hand grab my wrist. I almost felt down but that hand supported my body. And I know whose hand is that.
“are you okay, lee?” Ben look at me concernly.
Do I look okay? I want to ask him so badly but decided not to.
I fake a smile and nod. “yes, I am okay” I answer and he let my hand go.I am okay. I remind myself that until I reach my class.
I have never confessed my feeling to any boy but Ben. I didn’t know what did I think when I decided to ‘declare’ my love to someone, who will never be mine. Even if there is only me left in this world, I bet his answer will still the same.
Don’t get Ben wrong, he isn’t a bad boy or popular boy like what you think. He is only an ordinary boy, who love basketball and mathemathic so much. He has a brownish hair colour. He has a long bangs which almost cover his eyes. Sometimes I wonder why don’t he have a hair cut. Isn’t it normal to have those kind of question about your crush? Once you fall in love with someone, you will pay attention on every single thing about him.
“Lee! So how is it?” Hale, my bestfriend ask while chewing a gum. Gum is his wife. That’w what he told me.
I look at him. I didn’t talk since the rooftop accident.
“Ohno. Did he…” he studied my face. “He is so dead right now, where is that Ben?” he look around. I pull his hand to get his attention. “please don’t do anything” I talk weakly. He hug me tightly. “it isn’t his fault” I say and my tears start to fall.
Few months later
“Lee, the principal call you to go to her office” one of my classmate tell me.
I nod and throw my chips plastic bag to the trash. It is break time now. students are running here and there. There are also few students who are flirting with each other which send me a shiver. Since the day Ben rejected me, I swore to myself that I won’t fall in love with boy anymore.
I knock the office door. After I heard he said come in, I open the door and get in. “you call me, sir?” I ask once I step into the room.
The principal isn’t alone. He is with a guy who have his back facing me. he has a black hair and a broad shoulder. I have been attending this school since I am ten years old and I have never seen this guy before. Maybe, he is a new student.
“please take a seat Lee”
I walk to the empty chair beside that guy and sit. I don’t dare to look at his face instead I took a glance at him. he has a big round eyes and pale skin colour. He wear black glasses, which make him look… smarter.
“Lee, as I know that you are the most responsible student in this school. After I discuss a few things with your homeroom teacher regarding this problem, we decided to ask your help” he bent his body forward before he continue what he want to say. “the boy sit beside you is Hunter”. Hunter? His name sounds good. “He will be in the same class as you and I want you to teach him every single lesson that has passed and please give him the school tour. Also, his mom requested for a tutor for him and I think that you are the best tutor for him” he explain
“what? Me? why not Ben or Lydia? Their scores are always good”
“you can’t change our decision Lee. We had discussed this with all of your subject teachers and they said that you are the best”
before I can say anything, the bell rings ant that means class will start in five minutes.
“okay, that’s all. You can go back to your class and Hunter..” hunter look at the principal. “you can follow Lee to the class”
Ohgod. I don’t know what to do. The situation is so awkward. None of us are talking. All eyes are on us when we walk through the corridor. How much I wish that I have the ability to be invisible. I look down and close my face by using my long silky black hair. I look back and see hunter’s eyes wandering around the corridor. He looks like he doesn’t care about those stares.
“okay, em.. hunter? Can I call you that?” that’s the first conversation.
He look at me with his big round eyes and smile. “yeah sure. And what should I call you?”
“Lee is fine” I smile awkwardly. “so can you wait here for a second? I need to take my book from locker” I point at my locker which is located right in front of us.
With a very fast speed. I search for my geography book which is located somewhere there. I take the book and my blinder. I put all of my subject note in one blinder so it will be easy for me to take it everywhere.
“ok let’s go” I say and he follow me.
he is walking right beside me not behind me. just now, he walked behind me like a puppy following it’s owner. Maybe he feel comfortable with me after our first conversation.
“so Lee, is Lee your name or is it your nickname” he ask
“Lee is my name” I lied. Nobody know about my real name.
“Lee sounds good” he smile to me.
“thankyou” I smile back. “where were you from?”
he doesn’t answer for few minutes. Did I ask something that I shouldn’t ask? Was the question too personal?
“sor..”
“my past wasn’t good. I don’t want to recall them” even though he smile I can guarantee that something bad happened in his past.
“alright, I am sorry for asking. Well I shouldn’t ask this kind of thing in our first meeting”
“no, it isn’t your fault. By the way about the tuition, you will come to my house this evening right?” he ask me when we arrive at our class.
Oh right the tuition. I have totally forgot about that. “well, actually…”
“you can’t say no” he cut my sentence
I sigh. “okay then, what time are you home?”
“five will do” he say while we walk inside the class.
“okay five then”
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“ohno!” I shout as soon as I see the clock that is hang on the wall right beside the right of my bed. I jump up from my bed and run to the toilet. I randomly pull a black t-shirt and black short. I have a very quick shower then tie a messy bun.
I can’t be late for my first tutor day. Hunter might think that I don’t want to tutor him. well the fact is yes I don’t want to but because this is the principal order. I wear my black converse, take my bagpack which is filled with my necessity.
After I got in to one of the taxi, I take a deep breath and try to calm myself. I shut my eyes and blame myself for taking a nap. I planned to have a short nap as soon as I arrive at my apartment but end up I slept for two hours. This is why I shouldn’t sleep late at night. My body isn’t like other’s body who can stand doing daily activities by only taking 4 hours for sleeping.
“we are here miss”
I open my eyes and see a very large house in front of my eyes. Is this the right house? I replay everything that happen during the school time, trying to think about the hint that he drop about his so called house but for me is mansion.
I give the driver money and go down from the taxi. I take my phone out then reality slap me. I didn’t ask hunter for his phone number. Great this is just great. I look at my watch and it’s 5.15 now.
“excuse me sir but is hunter home?” I ask to one of the man who was sitting on the security post.
“who are you miss?”
“I am his…” what should I say? Friend? Well we aren’t officially friend. “tutor”
he furrow his eyebrow. “wait for a second, I will ask Mr. hunter whether he is expecting you or not”
I nod. Seriously? Do I have to go through this things only to teach a teenage boy? It isn’t like I am the one who want to teach him.
The guard come back and open the gate for me. “Mr. Hunter is waiting for you at his room which is located at second floor”
Wow, this house isn’t a joke. The living room is even bigger than my apartment. But, why isn’t there anybody in this house? Shouldn’t there be his mom or maybe servants?
“Lee?”
I see Hunter standing on the stairs wearing a white t-shirt and training pants. He run his hand on his damp hair. I stand awkwardly there. I don’t know what should I say, so I smile while waving at him.
“you came” he say while walking down the big stair.
He walk toward me and something weird is happening with my stomach. Something inside my stomach is being flipped upside down and it happen for several times.
“I taught that you will not show up”
I laugh. “of course I will. Mr. White’s order. There is no way I am not coming here” I pause while remove few stains of my hair that cover my face. “I can’t just simply endanger my scholarship…” what the hell did I just say? I almost spilled my own secret to him. I shifted awkwardly for seconds. “so, should we start?” I ask hoping that he won’t ask me further more about the sentence I said before.
“sure” he grin showing his super rich yet white teeth. “let’s go to my room”
“what? Your room?” seriously? He expect me to teach him in his room? Like his bedroom?
He look at me with ‘what’s wrong with that?’ stare. “I mean, don’t you have any study room here? Well, this place is such a huge mansion” I say.
He laugh. “no, we don’t have any study room” he stop. “and this is not mansion. This is only a small house”
---------------
after contemplating with myself, I decided to get in to his room, tutor him for two hours, and get my ass out of this his so called small house. When I step inside his room, I didn’t know the meaning of breath for a second. His room is like… twice then my apartment. How can someone has this kind of room?
My eyes can’t stop wandering around his room until I heard him laughing beside him. I look at him. “what’s so funny?” well truthfully I feel annoyed. Not everybody is as rich as him.
“don’t you think that mosquito or fly will get in to your mouth if you keep opening it that wide?” he ask while pushing my opened jaw and now it is close thank to him.
I can feel the heat is radiating my face. I open my messy bun to close my face so he doesn’t realize that I am blushing. Get a grip Lee, you promise to yourself that you won’t fall for any boy, you don’t even know him yet.
“is it a most for you to tie your hair?”
great. What the hell is happening with you Lee? Why did you untie your hair?
I clear my throat and tie my hair back to the messy bun. “let’s start” I smile.
He lead me to a black door which is located at the left side of his bed. He open and turn on the light. Wow. One word to describe the room. This is the type of study room I dream of. Well designed book racks, wood stair for taking book, a sofa, and a set of table and chair.
“this is…” I look at him and he is staring at me. “awesome… is this your study room?”
he shake his head. “this is my library”
“you are such a lucky one” I put my backpack on the table.
“not as lucky as what you think, if you know about my…” he stop.
I tilt my head to the right side, waiting for him to continue. Instead of continuing what he said before, he grin widely. “so, let’s start” he say
----------------
“okay, stay silent everybody. I am going to announce your exam score” Mrs. White, our maths teacher say and the whole class start growl.
Mrs. White starts to announce one by one. As usual half of our class don’t pass and have to take another test. I don’t know what is in their mind. I bet they are not stupid and can get a good score if they try their best to study.
“Hunter…” I look up when I heard Hunter’s name being called. Well, as a good tutor I am responsible for his score. I have been giving him lesson for several months and will keep continuing. “90. Congratulation Hunter” Mrs. White hand him his exam paper with a motherly smile. When he pass through me, he wink at me and as usual I roll my eyes.
Even though he is here for only 3 months but his popularity isn’t joke. Once a group of my junior surrounded me in the toilet only to ask hunter’s number. Of course I didn’t give them. I can’t simply give his number to stranger, can I?
“and.. as usual Lee… 98!” Mrs. White announce my score.
98? I sigh. I aim for 100 this time. With a very heavy step I walk to the teacher’s table and take the paper. And guess what, Ben and Lydia get 100 for their exam. In order to continue my study in this high school, I need to have a good score with no 8 in my report. My mom can’t afford the school fee. Since the day my dad died, our life isn’t good. But thanks God, my mom got a job and she is super busy. I never have a proper talk to her for almost one year.
“okay, that’s all for today guys. Remember to do your homework and see you tomorrow” and… it’s lunch time now.
I pack my things and walk out from my class. I don’t have time for lunch. Actually, no money for lunch. I woke up late this morning so I couldn’t prepare my lunch. I walk to my locker, preparing for the next class. The only place is comfortable for me in this school is library. When everybody is eating and I am not, that’s the only place I can go and have a good time alone.
“Lee!”
“oh Hunter! Congrats for your ninety!” I smile
“thanks to you I can get that high score. Well congrats for your ninety eight” he grin.
I shake my head. “as you know I was aiming for one hundred this exam but I failed”
He hold my shoulder. “ninety eight is good already. You can try again next exam. Now, let’s celebrate for our ninety and ninety eight!” he jump around like a kid. Most of the students in the corridor is looking and whispering. I hate attention.
“stop it Hunter, people are looking at us” I whispere.
“who cares?” he look at my books. “are you going to study at cafeteria?” he ask, pointing at the books.
Great, just great. He will force me to eat and pay for my lunch again.
“no, I will eat at the field. You can just go celebrate with your” I look at the crowd. “fans” I giggle and walk away.
---------------------
“ninety eight huh?” I heard someone talk behind me. Ben.
I smile at him and focus back on my book. Right now, I am reading a thriller novel. I love thriller and romance story. I spend most of my pocket money to buy novels. I can still survive without food but I don’t think I can survive without books.
“are you going to ignore me? is it because of the five months ago accident?” he sit on the empty chair beside me.
I shut my eyes. Didn’t I tell him to forget everything that I said that day?
“are you going to ignore me for your whole life?”
if yes, what will you do? Can you invent a time machine with your clever brain and go back to the moment when I confess to you?
“look, I am sorry for that but if you think of it, it isn’t my fault. Isn’t it my right to choose?”
I close my book and face him. “didn’t I tell you to forget everything that I said that day? I am not ignoring you. I am just…” I pinch the bridge of my nose. “don’t feel like talking” I pack my novel until he stop my hand by holding it.
“let my hand go” I say softly trying not to show him my anger.
“we haven’t talked finish yet”
I put my book back and face him. I can’t believe that I fell for someone like him. the day after I confessed to him, there is a news about him dating Lydia. People said that they are couple made in heaven. Saying that their child will be the next Einstein. The reasons he gave me when he said no is he want to focus on his study. Why couldn’t he say that he like Lydia? I wouldn’t get mad if he did say that though.
“who is he?”
“what?” I look at him disbelief.
“Hunter. Is he your boyfriend?”
why do you care?
I take a deep breath and look at him in the eyes. “look, I don’t know what is your problem with him but.. it isn’t your problem whether he is my boyfriend or not”
He laugh humorless. “so, what they say is true”
“whether it is true or not, it’s none of your business” I pack my book inside my back and stand up. “know what? Just mind your relationship with Lydia” I say and walk away.
------------------
“down to the earth Lee”
I look at Hunter who is currently biting the milk straw. “what? Did you say something?”
He look at me with ‘are you kidding me?’ stare. “I have repeated myself for thrice and you didn’t even reply me a word”
“I am sorry”
“something happen? You said that you were in the field during the lunch time but I didn’t see you there. Where were you?”
“i..” come on think of a reason. “went to toilet when you were there”
“wow, I never taught that you will take forty five minutes to go to toilet” he look at me unconvinced.
“fine! I was at the library”
“you skipped your breakfast, did’t you?”
I huft and close my face with both of my palm. “please don’t advice me for today. I promise you that I will eat next time” I say. “please don’t make my day worst” I whisper
He hold both of my hand. “did Ben say something bad to you?
How can he know?
“nothing, we just talk about uh..” I fake a smile. “our score.. yes, our score”
“don’t lie to me Lee, I heard everything” he fold his hand across his chest.
Great, the end of my life. But why would he care? He isn’t my mom, brother or dad. He is only my friend. Ok fine my current bestfriend. The one I can rely the most.
“you liked him huh?”
“stop Hunter, I don’t feel like talking about him”
he look at me with a serious look. I have never seen him this way. Usually he looks at me with his playfull or sad or angry look but not this serious look.
“I liked him not like” I correct him.
“when is that?” I can feel the anger at his tone. Or maybe only my feeling.
“five months ago”
“and… he turned you down?”
I nod. “well, it has been five months and I am over him right now so.. let’s continue to with our lesson” I open his book but he snatch it from me.
“did it hurt?”
of course it hurt a lot. It hurt until now. so can you stop talking about it?
I shake my head. “I could manage it” I force my best smile and he still keep his poker face on. “can we continue studying now?”
“he chose Lydia over you?”
the question slap me. even though I say that I get over Ben, first love will still be there deep deep down inside your heart. Yes, Ben is my first love. Sad huh?
“why do you care? You are not my dad or brother. We are only friend”
he flinch. Okay, I feel bad for saying such a rude sentence to him. nobody talk for around five minutes. We sit there, drown in our own thought.
“yes, I am not your dad or brother and I have no right to know” he stare at the book in front of him blankly. “but…” he look at me and laugh bitterly. “why do I even care about you? This isn’t me…” he stand up and place his hand on his forehead.
Okay, what happen to him? did I say something wrong? I walk toward him and touch his hand but he flinch. “don’t touch me” he snap at me. “get out from my room now and don’t you dare to come here again”
“Hunter.. I am..”
“get out!” he shout at me. I look at him for the last time, pack my things and leave.
----------------
that was the last time I talk to him. it has been two months. For the whole two months he ignore me and don’t even take a glance at me. he flirts with girls and everytime I see it my heart feel so tight. I know I shouldn’t feel this way but I just can’t help it. I can’t feel this wayI remind myself.
I needed to find a part time work because I am no longer Hunter’s tutor. I need money for buy a meal per day. After school I walk to the coffee shop near my apartment and work at there as waitress until eight pm. Nine until one I study or do my homework and only get sleep for about four or five hours.
My mom hasn’t come back home for about almost four months. No phone call, no message from her. Once, I went to the hospital where she work, they said that my mom is very busy and doesn’t have time to meet me. then I went back home.
Right now. I am sitting at the corner of library covered with stack of books. We are going to have final exam soon. This time I need to get 100 for at least 5 subjects. That’s my goal.
I read every single book in the library and write down the important point. I feel like my eyelid becoming heavier and heavier. I can’t hold it anymore longer. I need a short nap.
“hiding in the corner where everybody can see isn’t a good choice”
seriously? I need rest. I pretend to close my eyes. I have no energy to argue or talk with Ben. I don’t know why, he is always there during lunch with me. everywhere I go, even toilet. Last week, I vomit so badly at toilet because I forgot to eat for the whole day and he was standing outside holding a glass of warm water. He forced me to drank that and bought me food.
“don’t pretend to sleep”
I sigh. “what do you want?”
He sit beside me. “just.. accompany you” he take one of the book. “you look lonely. Usually Hunter will be around you but not in thistwo months. Are you guys fighting? Or perhaps… break up?”
I glare at him. “can you stop sticking your nose on people’s problem? And break up? Seriously? We were not even an item”
“why didn’t you tell me that day when I asked?”
“do you expect me to answer someone who turned me down?” I pause. “but it’s okay, I have moved on” I say, continue writing the important points.
“want to know a secret?”
“a secret? About how you can get one hundred on almost every exams? Why not?” I chuckle.
“close your eyes then” he say.
I shake my head. “I don’t want to. People might think that I am crazy”
“just five seconds. Please?” I look at him. he is looking at me with a puppy eyes.
“fine” I close my eyes. Well it feel so nice because I am holding a five kilograms eyelid for two months.
“I love you, Lee” Ben say then kiss my right cheek.
I open my eyes. “what the hell Ben?” I shout at him. thanks god, no one is at the library right now.
“did you just… kiss me?”
he nod calmly. I slap at him and stand up. “don’t you dare to do that to me again! You turned me down and now you kiss me. do I look that easy in your eyes? Do I look like someone who want your love that badly? Yes, I did eight months ago, but now, no more. And do you expect me to believe your words? If you think that I will… you are totally stupid and that clever brain of yours is nothing but a clod of meat” I take my notes and walk away.
---------------------
I cry my heart out as soon as I arrive at my apartment. I ask for a day off from the coffee shop. I can’t concentrate for the whole day. I feel so furious. Do I look that weak? Do I look like a girl who crave for love that badly? I can’t imagine if Lydia know about this. She will be mad at me and call her dad to stop affort my school fee.
I feel so sad, furious, and… helpless. I don’t know what should I do. Even my own mom, hasn’t come back home. Is she running away from me? does she regret of having a daughter like me?
After cried everything out, I decided to cook whatever left in my freezer. Omelet isn’t bad though. I have been eating by myself for almost five months. So eating by myself isn’t something that I need to be sad of.
When I was about to wash the dishes, someone rang the door bell. I walk weakly to the door and open it. Hunter.
“oh my god… Lee… are you okay?”
all I can do is nod. I want to say something but nothing comes out. I am too tired and no energy to talk. Is he coming here to pity on me? if that’s his the reason, I think it’s better for him not to come.
“do you need…” I cough for several times before continue “my help for the exams? If that’s why you come here wait for a moment I will take my note for you” I say. When I was about to walk away, he pull and hug me.
I am shock and trying to free myself but he hug me tighter. At the end, I give up. This isn’t the first time we hug though, so I don’t really mind if he hug me. maybe something bad happened to him and he have no one to find except me.
“I am sorry” he whisper.
He let me go and cup both of my cheek. “you look so pale and unhealthy” he say.
I put his hand away. “If you come here to pity me, it is better for you to go”
“no. I um… have something to tell you”
“okay, what is it?” I ask impatiently.
He look around and I can see that he is worrying about something. Maybe he need my help to ask for a girl phone number.
“can we get in and talk?”
I nod and let him in. this is the first time he actually get in to my apartment. Usually he sent me apartment and drove back home.
“I saw what happen to you in the library…”
I freeze for a moment. “so.. you was there”
He nod. “frankly, I have been watching you for a long time… do you think I will just let you go everywhere around without me watching you?”
“from what you said to me last time, yes” I answer truthfully.
He sigh. “I am sorry about that. You know I didn’t mean to…”
“no” I cut him. “it’s fine… I forgave you. So what do you want to say? If you need my help, I will still help you”
“no.. I want to say that.. I um…”
“you what?”
“i… like you, Lee”
what? “wait what? What do you mean by like? You come here only to say that you like me? yes, I like you too Hunter. You are my bestfriend. Well, even though our relationship isn’t that good for this few months…”
“No no… not that ‘like’. I mean..” he ruffle his hair. “I don’t know how to say..”
I tilt my head and furrow my eyebrow. “just say it out… I won’t be mad at you don’t worry..”
“do you want to be my girlfriend?” he ask with a very fast speed. If I say ‘very fast’ that’s mean a real fast that you can barely listen to it well if you don’t concentrate.
“what?”
“do you?” he ask again. “ok this must sound crazy but I can’t keep thinks any more longer. From the first time I met you, I am attracted to you in that second. The way you talk to people isn’t like other girls. They fake everything but you don’t. they try to be perfect in front of guy but you don’t” he take a deep breath. “when you came to my house for the first time, the way you dress isn’t like the ususal teenage girl. And that’s what I love the most from you. Everytime I look at your smile, even now… my heart is beating insanely and I afraid that it might broke my ribcage” he take a step closer to me. “the way you furrow your eyebrow when you don’t understand the questions, it makes you look cute. I can’t help but smile” he take another step. “when I heard what you talk to Ben, my heart feel so hurt” he point at his heart. “and when I said those sentences to you… especially when you walk out from my room, I can’t think straight. I tried to distract myself from you by flirting with another girl but it didn’t work at all. The more I try to avoid you the more I fall for you” he take another step closer and right now he is right in front of me. he take my hand and draw small circles by using his thumb. “when I saw Ben kissed you, I want to run to him and punch him but you slapped him first. Then after I heard everything that you said, I know that you are hurt”. I can feel my tears start to roll down from my cheek. He wipe my tears gently. And when he touched my face, I feel warm and comfortable.
I look at him. trying to find whether he is lying or no but I can’t find any of that in his eyes. The more I look into his eyes, the more I am drown into it. At that moment, I know that I fall for him.
“say something Lee”
I shake my head. “my name is not Lee”
“whatever your name is, I will still love you the same way”
“my name is Malee” I smile weakly. “yes” I whisper and look down at the floor.
“what? Can you say it louder?” he cup both of my face and now I am facing him.
“yes, Hunter” I say with a firm tone. He hug me and turn me around. He put me down and hold my face gently. He move his head closer till our lips meet. And my first kiss is taken by Hunter. “I love you, Malee” he say between the kiss. “I love you too, Hunter”
THE END.